a very Spanish Christmas

Randy and I shared an incredibly special first Christmas together!

As I was thinking about what to get Randy I decided to go the sentimental route and put together a photo album of our walk across Spain, frame our compostelas/certificates of completion, and create a clock with no hands. (We met a kid on the Camino with a tattoo of a wristwatch that had no hands, which symbolized all kinds of things including not being a slave to time and embracing every moment that is ours.)

My sister-in-law Kari had the same idea, sending us mounted photos of our journey.

And from these items we created an "inspiration wall" in our new home. 

Randy's mind was also on the Camino.

12 days before Christmas a box appeared on the island in our kitchen with a letter of the alphabet inside. And each day thereafter a new letter appeared. Clues to my Christmas present.

The letters didn't come in any particular order. I didn't know how many words or how many letters in each word. In fact, I didn't even know what language the puzzle was in.

Each day I came up with random phrases with the letters I had. "So time" and "It Moose" and "Te Amo Mi Son".

Finally, with all letters in hand (and a couple clues from Rand!), the puzzle came together: "One More Time?" he asked in Spanish.

"Are you asking what I think you are asking?" I questioned.

"I have 3 weeks blocked out in March," he said.

WE ARE GOING ON CAMINO!!

Last April we parted ways 306 kilometers before reaching Santiago. So we're going back to finish our Camino. Together!

Best Christmas ever!

no words

I asked Tysen last night if she knew Randy and I were leaving today for California. "No... do you want to see my flashlight?" she responded.

Tessa said goodbye to me just like any other night. But cried when she hugged my dog.

For the first time in months Kenzi didn't ask me to buy her sparkly boots for Christmas. (Which I've already done and wrapped.) But asked me to put gummy worms on her Amazon wish list instead.

Kaylee gave me a card that her great-grandma had given her great-grandpa 50 years ago, and showed me her favorite pair of slippers.

Even Kasen gave me a "Love you" and a hug.

Most of the adults have had the sentiment: "Be careful. Be safe. Have fun. Keep in touch."

But my sister-in-law Kari and I finally tapped into what everyone has really been saying, through their actions and words that seem to fall short. As we hugged we said: "There are no words."

No words for how great the last two years have been. To be so close to such great friends and family. No words for all the experiences. The tooth fairy and Elf on the Shelf. Zoo trips and skating rinks. Church and work and family dinner nights. Late night chats and early morning triathlons. A home I created here.  

No words. Inadequate words. So "goodbye for now" will have to be good enough.

Perfect peace

I went to a baseball game this week. It was scheduled to start at 7 pm. At 10 minutes till it started to rain. Hard. And it didn't let up for over an hour. The entire backstop was under water. Once the rain let up it took another hour to prepare the field for play. The start time ended up being 9:05 pm. And the game went into extra innings. Resulting in a loss for the home team. Well after midnight.

But the most amazing thing happened that night.

So amazing it is hard to believe.

While we sought shelter with 5000 fans as our seats gathered rain, I didn't hear a single person complain. No one seemed angry or put out. People chatted. Kids played. The ball players from both teams danced in the rain and entertained us with skits made up on the spot. We pointed out the rainbow to one another and shared towels and sweatshirts to dry our waiting seats.

It was the best experience of waiting I have ever had.

A little glimpse of heaven. An evening that proves peace is possible!

the in-between

In Spain, I had a clear and defined "purpose"--to walk. 

Today I am wrestling with what that clear and defined purpose is now that I am "home". If I have one. If I need one. What is next.

Or if I'm being called to stay in this "in-between" place for a while, to rest and reflect and recover. 

It is an unsettling place. The in-between. But that doesn't mean it's not right where I'm supposed to be.  

Day 50

Day 50 - Resting (against my will) in Ponferrada

For the past 50 days I have been singing the lyrics "Make me broken, so I can be healed, Cause I'm so calloused, And now I can't feel, I want to run to You, With heart wide open, Make me broken" (Sidewalk Prophets, "Keep Making Me") as a prayer while I walk.

Stupid, right? Who prays to be broken?!!

Because God always answers prayer. And obviously He would answer me literally on this one!

A while back, Suzie sent me this quote from Kathleen Norris: "Prayer is not asking for what you think that you want, but asking to be changed in ways that you can only imagine."

I thought I wanted to be broken, empty, lonely, like the song says, so that God could heal me, fill me, comfort me. But as soon as I hurt I prayed for it all to go away!!

Not that I shouldn't have. After all, BEFORE Jesus prayed for God's will to be done, He prayed to be spared.

So my challenge today has been to pray for healing, but in the meantime to be open to learning and receiving whatever it is He has to teach me through this. To be changed, healed, and filled in ways I can't even fathom.

And as I consider the prayers I am holding for you, those you shared with me before I left and those that have come to me along the way, I know that God's answers for you are bigger than any prayer I could ever pray. That He will do mighty things in you and through your circumstances.

Please keep sharing your prayers and His answers with me and with others. Because if I have learned anything on this journey it is that we must participate, deeply and authentically, in the communities we are blessed to be part of.

Thank you for being part of my community and for all your thoughts and prayers while I wait "patiently" (try to anyway!) on the Lord!

Day 46

Day 46 – Holy Saturday

“And they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandment.” Luke 23:56

Every journey, every Camino, every calling is its own.

Many people I have encountered have felt led to walk to Santiago. Others beyond Santiago, another 87 kilometers, to Finisterre. Or even a day’s walk beyond that to Muxia.

Not everyone is called to Santiago, however. Some are simply called to walk.

Some started in France. In St. Jean Pied de Port, like me. Or further away. In Le Puy. Or Paris.

Others began in Spain. Roncesvalles or Pamplona. Burgos or Leon. And some will begin in Sarria, to walk the last 100 kilometers.

Many do the Camino in stages. One hundred kilometers or one week at a time. Over the course of a few or many years.

Others follow the guidebook recommendations and walk from St. Jean to Santiago in 33 continuous days.

I’ve met people who walk far faster than this. And many, like me, who go much slower.

My own calling was to walk for Lent.

I thought it would take me to Santiago. Or Finisterre. Or Muxia. I thought I would have “arrived” by now. But I find myself 185 kilometers short of Santiago. Resting in Villafranca del Bierzo. Because that is what the Scriptures say happened between Jesus’ Crucifixion and Resurrection. Rest.

After Good Friday, a day of processions and services, holiday crowds and late night music, I welcomed a day of quiet. Both outside in the streets and inside my own mind.

Because the Camino is a difficult journey. But not just on the body. It challenges you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And after 46 days I needed a break. In body, mind, and spirit.

So that I would be prepared for the celebration of the new life that comes with Resurrection Sunday.

Here they say ‘the authentic Camino begins when it is completed’. So even though Easter marks the end of Lent, my journey has just begun.

I’ve decided to stay in Spain for another 2 weeks. To listen more deeply to what it means for me to live the Camino.

I will continue to walk. But by now I know (and I hope you do too!) that the Camino is so much more than walking.       

Day 41

Day 41: Rest day in Acebo - 0 kilometers!!

Today was the first true rest day I have taken on my journey.

Yes, Randy and I took two "rest" days, one on Day 11 in Estella and another on Day 21 in one of the many Villafrancas ("home to the Franks") we passed/will pass through. But in Estella we walked 10 kilometers roundtrip to the wine fountain, and on Day 21 we hiked out to a gorge, climbed a dam, and scaled a mountain just to have a picnic in a cave.

Not exactly a "rest" as far as my body is concerned.

So today I decided (actually my foot decided for me) that I deserved a day of no walking.

I am staying in a "bbb" (a bed above a bar that serves breakfast). And I have literally stayed in bed (or on my balcony) all day, except to go downstairs for breakfast (coffee and toast), lunch (a ham and cheese sandwich), and dinner (salad, steak, and a bottle of wine).

Making the decision to take a day off of walking was a difficult one for me. Even after all the sympathy I received yesterday from the pilgrims who passed me on the trail as I limped my way up and down the mountain pass. (I'm especially grateful to the Javier Bardem lookalike who told me walking the road would be better for me than taking the path. "Los piedras estan muy mal por sus pies." He was right!!)

Every day I am getting closer to the end of my time here. And yet there is still so much to see and do. I don't want to waste it resting.

But I don't want to be stupid either. If resting today means I'll be able to enjoy my walk tomorrow, then it is worth it.

It's all part of the journey...

To make myself feel better about resting, I pulled out my map of Spain and blacked out the path I have already traveled: 558.2 kilometers. With just a little over 200 kilometers to go to get to Santiago.

Maybe I do deserve a rest!

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." James 1:2-3 NLT

Day 32

Day 32: Calzadilla de la Cueza to San Nicolas del Real Camino - 15.7 km

Fortunately for me I woke up this morning feeling normal again. Unfortunately for Randy, he did not. Also unfortunately is that we stayed at an albergue last night. And albergues require us to leave by 8 a.m. Though we frequently push our limits to as late as 9.

We stopped at the town bar so I could get a ham sandwich for breakfast. I knew Randy was really sick when he asked for hot tea instead of his usual double espresso ("cafe doble").

With no other options in the tiny town of Calzadilla, we were forced to start walking, along the highway, on a cool and foggy morning.

After 9.7 kilometers in a few slow hours, we reached a beautiful albergue in Terradillos de los Templarios. Clean and new and warm, with a fabulous cafeteria. And Randy was already feeling better. Good enough to stomach some pasta and give him the energy to go further.

Several days ago, Dirk from Germany said that the good thing is, whatever ails you today, something else will ail you tomorrow.

This might sound negative, even discouraging. But we've actually found peace and comfort in this truth. Because a new hurt tomorrow means that whatever hurts today won't hurt for long.

Yesterday my stomach hurt. Today it did not. Today it was my hip flexors. Tomorrow it might be a knee or shoulder or foot. But at least my stomach is better and so will be my hip.

Today Randy's stomach hurt. Tomorrow it will not. Tomorrow it might be his toe or heel. But it won't be today's hurt.

So, there is no need to dwell on today's hurt. Because by tomorrow it will be forgotten.

While resting and enjoying our lunch Randy asked me how it felt to be "halfway", as Terradillos is the halfway point between St. Jean Pied de Port, France, where I started, and Santiago, where I plan to end.

I expected to feel accomplished. Excited. Proud. Relieved. Exhausted. Something.

But the truth is, I didn't feel anything at all.

Perhaps because there was no monument or plaque or sign to commemorate this locale (though "Uncle John" tells us there is one coming up in Sahagun to mark halfway between Roncesvalles, 24 km into our trip, and Santiago). Perhaps because I was more focused on Randy and me feeling better than on how many kilometers we had managed in the last sick two days. Perhaps because it is overwhelming to think how many miles I still have to go. Perhaps because the number of kilometers has ceased to matter, paling in comparison to the richness of our experience.

Regardless, I didn't feel any emotional attachment to this stop. So, as the sun came out and warmed up the afternoon, we easily decided to continue on 6 more kilometers, with sunglasses on, to the comfortably cozy town of San Nicolas, where we are sleeping above a bar/cafe with two other pilgrims on The Way.

Day 29

Day 29: Boadilla del Camino to Villalcazar de Sirga - 20.9 km

"Pace" has been a regular subject of conversation over the last several days.

Simon from England says that walking the Camino with someone is like being in a relationship. It doesn't feel like compromise in the beginning because you are having so much fun. But then comes a day when you want to stop, but the other person wants to press on. Or you want to press on, and the other wants a day off. And you have to have that difficult conversation about parting ways in order to stay true to yourself and your Camino.

I walked 4 or 5 kilometers with David from Australia recently who was trying to catch up to his "Camino family". He fell behind when he took a rest day back in Burgos. But he was committed to finishing the Camino with them, even if it meant a 30 kilometer day to catch up. His only complaint about the family was the American who wanted to take frequent breaks and pictures, which he felt slowed the pace of the whole group. I only walked those few kilometers with him because he was way too fast for me. At least if I ever thought about a day of 30k.

Even though Randy and I get teased by our fellow pilgrims about our slow pace, I read back to our first encounter and was reminded that setting our own pace was one of our goals for the journey. To not be pressured by anyone or any standard that says we should go faster or longer or come home sooner. But to listen instead to our bodies, minds, and souls to know how far and how fast to go.

Today we were also reminded about how much we would miss if we were racing through the Camino.

In the tiny town (population 150) of Poblacion de Campos, we stopped at a hotel around 1:30 p.m. and asked the matron if we could trouble her for a cup of coffee. She put on a pot for us and showed us to a leather couch in the lounge, where we promptly fell asleep. Embracing the national tradition of the siesta.

I can't imagine anywhere in the States where my backpack and I would be invited in, after walking 10k in the rain, and allowed to sleep on a hotel couch. But this lady acted as if we had paid her way more than 2 euros for coffee.

After some time we decided we better get back on the road if we were going to go another 10k before calling it a day. As we were starting to gear up she gave me the most pitiful look and said surely we could stay for an authentic Castillian meal.

"It's tradition," she said.

She spoke no English, and I didn't understand 90 percent of what she was saying, but I could tell that she felt it was her calling to care for us, and would be more hurt by us leaving without lunch than by anything else that could go wrong in her day.

Hollering out into the courtyard, she invited her brother's nephew to join us. And the four of us sat down to a bowl of soup.

We've been eating sopa de ajo (garlic soup) for about a week now, a typical dish in this region. But she made the dish "special" by adding garbanzo beans. And it was delicious. And filling. Especially since we'd just had a bocadilla (sandwich) in Fromista, just 3.5 km ago.

She took the soup away and we wondered how we would ever walk 10 kilometers on such full stomachs. And then she came back with a bowl of chicken and vegetables. Which she insisted we try, even if we just took un pocito (a little bit). By the time she offered us ice cream and fresh fruit for dessert we were way past saying no.  

When she finally did let us leave two hours later, refusing any sort of compensation, she thanked us for our presence and gave thanks to God, saying that it is important to care for those on the journey to Santiago.

Not every pilgrim would take this kind of "time out" in the middle of the walking day, but I'm sure grateful that we did.

During our even slower pace into Villarmentero de Campos, where we had a drink with the hosteleria, and on to Villalcazar de Sirga, where a bartender agreed to open a bunk house for the 6 of us so we wouldn't have to walk any more in the rain (we met up with two Koreans and a couple from Holland along the way), we saw a snail, fed two donkeys, watched a train of caterpillars, and witnessed the most beautiful double rainbow.

All reminders that beauty, compassion, and the journey have nothing to do with speed.

Day 18

Day 18: Santo Domingo to Grañón - 6.5 km (in the rain)

The most common questions we ask each other on The Way are: 

• Where are you from?
• Why are you walking el Camino?
• How did you get time off in order to walk?

Answers to this last question have been very interesting. Committing to el Camino means anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks away from home, work, and family. Some are between jobs. Or just graduated. Some worked 365 days last year in order to get 6 weeks off this year. Others are retired. Or made special arrangements to cover their jobs and other responsibilities. 

But more often than not pilgrims recognize that they simply had to make the Camino a priority. 

Because we can come up with excuses all day long not to live our dreams. (No matter how legitimate they are.) Or we can choose to live them. 

And everyone here has made the choice to live.  

For me that means carrying my laptop across Spain, taking short walking days so I can complete my work assignments in hotels and cafes. 

And it has been worth every step. Every extra kilo in my pack. 

Whatever it takes in order to live. 

That is the choice I want to make. 

Working in the albergue in Granon.

Day 9

Day 9: Uterga to Puente la Reina via Eunate - 9.5 km

Today I experienced an unexpected sadness when my group of friends started to part ways. There have been a few people I have met, or walked a short time with, who I have wished a "buen camino" - good journey - and simply been grateful for our chance meeting. But four of us - Jeff from North Dakota, Alois from Holland, Randy from California, and I from Ohio - have been together since day 5.

Granted that is only four days. But four days of walking together on the Camino is enough to develop friendships for a lifetime.

Leaving Uterga late morning, after a traditional Spanish omelet (eggs, potatoes, and onions) and espresso, the four of us, plus Sylvie from Paris and Fred from Ireland, set off together. Though twice my age, Fred quickly pulled ahead of the pack, not to be seen again this day.

After 2.5 kilometers we came to a crossroads where we had to decide to take the traditional route or detour to Eunate, where we could visit a 12th century Romanesque church, built in an octagonal form. It was 2.8 kilometers out of the way, but what are we here to do but walk?

Everyone but Alois decided to take the detour. We briefly discussed our next stops on the way so that we could chance running into each other again, at an albergue or cafe. And off he went, alone on The Way.

The church at Eunate was gorgeous. Well worth the extra kilometers.

We each took a moment to sit alone in the chapel. I could say nothing more than "thank you" for this incredible journey. Thank you for new friendships. Thank you for all the support I have back home. Thank you for all I have yet to experience on The Way.

Earlier in the morning I overheard Jeff and Alois talking and saying to one another, "We are on the Camino!" It is still just as incredible to us that we are walking as it was 9 days ago.

Church of Santa Maria de Eunate

Leaving the church we walked alongside cornfields on a gravel road until reconnecting with the Camino. We ended up in Puente la Reina where we stopped for a late lunch. Arthur from Poland joined us and said he had just run into our friend from Holland. That he was here in town staying at the monastery. We were thrilled to know we hadn't lost him.

After lunch Randy and I decided to stay in Puente la Reina too. To take time to look at the map and figure out our next steps. How far we should actually be walking each day. And to empty our packs of some weight.

I have a pair of shoes I plan to leave behind. And half a book (the other half we burned in the Pyrenees to get a fire going).

But Sylvie and Jeff decided to press on. To put in another 5k while the days are sunny and warm. As early as next week we could be walking daily in rain.

Watching Jeff and his pack with its USA and North Dakota flags attached walk off into the distance without us made me surprisingly emotional. I guess I had begun to envision the four of us entering Santiago. Celebrating what we had accomplished. Together.

But we each have our own journey. Our own timeline. Our own purpose and calling.

Learning to let go is just one of the many lessons we have to learn on The Way.

Day 8

Day 8: Pamplona to Uterga - 17.4 km

Are you keeping track? We walked over 88 kilometers our first week!

Which actually puts us a little behind schedule. But I'm not worried.

They say the Camino is a 3 part journey. The first two weeks are about the physical. The second two weeks challenge you mentally. And the final two weeks are when spirituality really comes into play. 

So I think it is perfectly acceptable to ease our way into walking during these first two weeks of the physically challenging part. Adjusting to the weight of the pack on my shoulders. The up and down terrain. Sweating regardless of whether it is 35 or 65 degrees.

I actually felt really good on yesterday's walk. Which I attribute to resting most of the day in Pamplona yesterday. As well as eating more during the day.

Getting used to the altitude and the time change meant not eating or sleeping much those first few days. But now I'm back in the rhythm of things. And the food is so good!

"Picnic" lunch.

The highlight of yesterday's walk was climbing to the top of Alto de Pardon, the hill of forgiveness, which is featured in the movie "The Way". To have seen it in the movie and then to be standing next to the metal art, the wind turbines, and look down over the valley we had just climbed out of was a joyous moment. Though everyone who reached the peak said the same thing about the metal art: "I thought it would be bigger." LOL. Regardless of its size, it didn't take away from the fact that the view was breathtaking. And we picked up new friends, a 22-year-old woman from Paris and a 70-year-old man from Ireland, who we shared dinner and drinks and raucous laughter with until way past our bedtime. 

Alto de Perdon

Upon arriving at the albergue, one of the first persons I saw was Romy, a woman I had met several days before. We reunited as if we were long lost friends. Romy told me back in Zubiri that being here was a "God thing". Her daughter had told her about the Camino 10 years ago and said they should take the journey together. Romy put it in the back of her head as something she would always love to do but would probably never get around to. But last year a friend of hers came into a large inheritance and asked God what she should do with her tithe. She felt God lead her to give it to Romy, who lives on a pension in New Zealand. Romy decided to use the money to walk the Camino. She would need at least two months, because she is in her 70s and doesn't want to walk more than four hours a day. She says she doesn't know what it means that this is a "God thing" (she has no interest in visiting the churches or Cathedrals, but God speaks to us all in different ways!), but maybe she'll figure it out on the way. 

Romy also updated us on our other friends. 

Jim from Philadelphia passed through here, who we met in Pamplona. He is also walking the Camino for Lent and is giving free foot massages as part of his experience. He looks like he walks the Camino every day when he is home in the States, so he is never too tired to give. 

Sheila from South Africa took a nasty fall and ended up in the hospital getting x-rays. But she is okay. And the Frenchman she befriended on the Way stayed with her to make sure. They plan to get up in the morning again and walk.

Just like the rest of us.

last minute list

Anytime you are preparing for a long journey there are lots of "last minute" things that need done. Packing. One last minute trip to the store. Laundry. Another last minute trip to the store. Eating everything in your refrigerator. Going to the store because you now have nothing in your refrigerator. Your mom reminding you not to forget your passport (thanks Mom!). Figuring out how to use whatever new gadgets you bought for your journey (watch/camera/global phone/tracking apps). Plus trying to fit in time with EVERYONE who is important to you (anyone want to go to the store with me?).

I anticipate coming home from Spain with a deeper appreciation for quality time with the people I love. And with strangers. So I'm really glad that my "send off" weekend was full of quality time. Two couples and 7 children around the dinner table. Dinner out and movies in with my boyfriend. Lots of walks with my dog.

Due to the ice/sleet/snow storm not all of my plans for quality time with important friends this weekend were able to happen. But I am glad that I took time out of packing and going to the store to spend time with the ones I could.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to call my grandma. And go to the store...

you are special

My boyfriend is the absolute sweetest. 

In addition to all the stuff boys are "supposed" to do (show up on time, put down the toilet seat, that kind of stuff), he also brings me two pieces of chocolate when I ask for one, compliments my vocabulary, encourages my outlandish dreams (yesterday we were buying an orphanage in Malawi, the week before we were playing Tarzan in Brazil)... 

I could go on all day about his sweetness. 

In January I even came home from vacation to this post-it note heart on my closet door. It's the first thing you see when you walk in my house. And it is still there today, a month later.

I love post-it notes. I love that he took the time to make a heart out of post-it notes. I love that he wrote me a note on the post-it notes. And that we have continued adding messages over the past few weeks.

It is such an adventure to come home and scan the closet door to see what has been added. Song lyrics, movie quotes, x's and o's. Just little expressions of love and care.

When we Walk With love in our hearts, we will always look for ways to make others feel special.

It doesn't have to cost anything. It doesn't have to be romantic. It doesn't have to be on Valentine's Day. It doesn't even have to be with someone you know.

We can simply decide each day that we are going to make someone/anyone/everyone feel special. And start looking for ways to make it happen.

So, whether or not you have a valentine today, choose to show someone that they are special!

the only one

I was hanging out with some friends this week when they got to teasing me (in good fun) about "doing my own thing".

It all started when a pack of gum was presented and everyone in the room wanted a piece. Everyone except me.

"Everyone else is chewing it," they said.

"I'm different, yeah I'm different," I sang.

And we all laughed.

Most of the time I love being the one who is "different", not afraid to follow the road less traveled and go my own way.

But that doesn't mean it's easy to maintain your stargirl qualities when you are "the only one":

The only one who doesn't chew gum (it gives me a stomach ache). The only one who doesn't have kids. The only one who doesn't smoke. The only one who doesn't have anything to complain about. The only one who goes to church. The only one who is divorced. The only one who works from home. The only one who leaves her phone at home on purpose. The only one...

You can fill in the blank for yourself. Because as many times as I am "the only one", there are just as many times when I'm part of the majority, leaving someone else--maybe you--to claim "the only one" status.

It can feel isolating to be on the outside of inside jokes. To have different tastes in music or movies, hobbies or passions. But I'm always in awe of the person who refuses to compromise who they are. Because I know how hard it can be. And how beautiful. And how worth it.

To Walk With integrity to your true self is a challenge. But knowing that there are times when we each feel like "the only one" is an invitation to celebrate each others' uniqueness, encourage authenticity, and be kind. Always.

lengthening days

Good news! The days are getting longer!!

The change is subtle. Gradual. You may tell it by how the sky looks when you go to work and drive home. Or when the kids get on the bus and when they go to bed. For me, who Walks With the rhythms of the sun, I can tell the change by when I wake up for my first daylight walk and when I slow down to take my last.

Gone are the days of the sun waking me at 7:45 and setting before dinnertime. Here are the days of 7 a.m. pinks and after dinner sunset walks.

Which can only mean one thing. (Don't let the snow and ice fool you!)

SPRING IS COMING!!

7 a.m. view from my bedroom

6 p.m. view from my walking path

giving keys

My sister-in-law Kari gave me the coolest birthday gift: a giving key.

The idea behind the key is that I'm supposed to "pay it forward", to give the key away to someone who needs the word inscribed on it. My key word, naturally, is "EMBRACE".

Immediately upon receiving the gift I had a vision of Walking With the key across Spain and laying it at the foot of the iron cross--Cruz de Ferro--which I will reach approximately 5 weeks into my journey. It's where others leave rocks from home, rings from failed engagements, and other "stones" to symbolize a shedding of burdens and leaving behind of what no longer serves you, in order to be open to new life and the last part of the journey.

The thing about "EMBRACE", my word of the year in 2013, is that I began to feel possessive of it after 365 days of carrying it around in the forefront of my mind. So any time it appeared in a book or a movie, a blog or conversation, it was as if I had been the impetus. As if the word had not even been called into existence prior to my declaring it "my" word of 2013.

And so the shedding of this layer/key/burden that I carry would be a symbol of letting go of this singular vision. In favor of Walking With all the other words and books, opportunities and acquaintances who share this journey with me. Leaving the past where it belongs in favor of all that makes up my future.

Instead of giving the key to one person, I would symbolically be giving it to all persons. Inviting each and every one to join me in laying down selfishness in favor of community.

And maybe this is exactly how it will play out. Or maybe there is ONE who needs this word-key for him or herself and I'll know it immediately. Time will tell.

As I said yesterday, it is good to have visions and expectations. AND to be able to lay them down if life has other plans.